Unarguably, there is nothing that has been more misunderstood, wrongly chastised, battled against, unfairly blamed, and unhealthfully exploited than human sexuality. Its misapplication, suppression, and demonization is the source of more violence, disease, corruption, and detriment than any pathogen, economic scarcity, feudal bickering, or governmental unrest. Why then, is our sexuality, something as biologically innate as our need for oxygen, so powerfully at the crux of worldwide inharmony? The short answer is because sexuality stands as our most intrinsic connection to God. The central theme of human experience has been for quite some time, the separation between man and the divine. The most obvious expression of our creatorship is reproduction, the birthing of new life. Under the veil of metaphysical ignorance, this creative power is often heralded as miraculous yet enigmatic, for to the religious adherent, isn’t creation the sole office of God?
Herein lies the origin of sexuality’s condemnation, for how dare the lowly human dabble in the celestial? Deplorably, it is all-too-well known that to control humanity’s sexuality is to control humanity. Preaching that copulation is for reproduction only, and that any other embodiment of intimacy is despicable, immoral, and sinful is an excellent way to ensnare human consciousness and fill it with fear, inferiority, and shame. On the contrary, natural sexual expression is something that unifies the human’s consciousness with that of the divine, it merges the male and female poles, and it opens the heart chakra to a streaming of unconditional love. Unconditional love is what God is, so inviting in such love invites in God and reminds us of our inseverable connection to the universe. Loving and respectful intercourse is capable of transcending material illusions, significantly healing and rejuvenating the body, and cleansing the aura of accumulated negativity and trauma. But here’s the kicker, it is terribly incorrect to assume that loving and respectful intercourse can only be shared by legally married individuals. Religious and cultural programming abhors anything outside of traditional monogamy, but this aversiveness exists purely as a human crafting. Now, please don’t mishear me, I am not stating that strict monogamy is inherently bad or wrong in any way. Every person is free to engage in the kind of consensual relationship that they wish. But to universally and unwaveringly restrain and confine human sexuality to strictly exclusive relationships dishonors our sovereign, free-willed, and divine nature. Again, please don’t mishear me. It is a wonderful and beautiful thing for two individuals to freely and willingly choose to commit to a traditional, monogamous partnership, regardless of how long it lasts (as opposed to two individuals reluctantly making such a decision because they believe they have no other permissible option in the eyes of God, society, or their parents). However, as long as respect, honor, and love stand as the foundation, other types of relationships can be equally wonderful and beautiful – and the right to unjustly prevent anyone from exploring or experiencing the kind of marital or romantic relationship they wish to belongs to no one. And by no one I mean no governmental figure, no religious figure, no celebrity, no imbecile on Twitter, no extraterrestrial, and not even God. We are unfoldings of the one Creator and we are infinite and eternal beings of light. It’s time we pull our heads out, grow up, and start acting like it. For far too long human sexuality has been enslaved by false teachings, fabricated beliefs, moronic superstitions, and even absurd legislation. Divine entities (which we are) are, by definition, sovereign and free to create and add to All That Is in the manner they choose. This means that we humans are free to experience God, love, ecstasy, union, partnership, higher states of consciousness, the spectrum of emotion, and, overarchingly, our creatorship as we desire. To limit the human is to limit God. We are here to create, to sense with all our senses, and to experience being empyrean within a physical body. We are not the possession of anyone or anything, therefore, when we unfurl self-acceptance and self-love we provide ourselves the opportunity to freely engage in relationships which nurture, warm, comfort, heal, and uplift us, without having to draft lengthy contracts that outline what we expect from and are owed by the other person. We can simply offer and receive love for the sake of loving. And when love is shared in such a pure way, unification with the true God is felt and known, and that is what connecting with other people is ultimately about – seeing God in all things. Shifting gears, it is very foolish for one to settle for or resort to a frustrating and miserable relationship simply because they believe that pursuing what they want is improper, iniquitous, or shameful. Commonly desperate attempts are made to inject new passion, excitement, or novelty into a relationship which end up procuring tension or even resentment because they get in the way of one or both partners authentically accepting and loving themselves as they are. As passion and lust fade, questions over one’s attractiveness and wantability often manifest or bubble to the surface. More detrimentally, questions over one’s deservedness or worthiness may soon follow. The blind and fearful adherence to artificial and invalid yet ego-serving moralism illustrates why “Adultery has been documented in every ostensibly monogamous human society ever studied, and is a leading cause of divorce all over the world today” [1]. Without the intention of preaching or proselytizing, it is clear that dogmatic suppression of affection and natural sexual expression fosters an increase in psychological dissonance and interpersonal violence [2]. It is also clear that emotional intimacy is a need quite universal in humans, but to assume that emotional intimacy can only arise within monogamous relationships is a mistake. For instance, Bergstrand and Williams, after surveying over 1,000 so-called swingers, concluded that swingers “are less racist, less sexist, and less heterosexist than the general population,” and that swingers “rated their marriages as happier, their overall life satisfaction as greater, and their lives as more exciting” [3]. Swingers engage in what can be defined as emotionally monogamous yet sexually non-monogamous relationships. Accordingly, swinging should be made distinct from polyamory, where genuine love (which may or may not involve sexual intercourse) and emotional intimacy are shared with more than one partner concurrently. I’d like to mention that in the above study, the authors stated that their results suggested the surveyed subjects were no more likely to come from abusive or dysfunctional backgrounds than members of the general population, and that the sampled swingers seemed to be as committed to marriage, family life, and emotional monogamy in relationships as those in a comparative sample. Thus, it would not be fair or accurate to label swingers as social deviants or debauchers. In another interesting survey of a few thousand young adults who, in their adolescence, were presented with an opportunity to pledge to remain sexually abstinent until marriage, it was found that those who pledged to remain sexually abstinent were more likely to engage in anal or oral sex in place of vaginal sex, and were less likely to use a condom at first sex (before marriage) than those who did not pledge to remain sexually abstinent [4]. More relevant to our talk is the fact that 88% of the subjects who pledged to remain abstinent reported having engaged in intercourse before marriage. Certainly, the results of the above study cannot be extrapolated to everyone on the planet, but they do suggest that legally married individuals are unlikely the only humans who could possibly be interested in copulation. Taking a step back, prior to the rise of agriculture, early human civilizations thrived in close-knit bands, tribes, and villages. Within many of these hunter-gatherer communities, resources were freely shared, children were raised by the adult collective, and egalitarianism was the norm [5]. Importantly, gender equality thwarted possessiveness in primitive societies, and allowed for a more casual sharing of intimacy – turning communities into large families (not implying incest). Instead of the theme, “my spouse and I against the world,” “my large family and I living in harmony with nature” prevailed. Of course, this is in contrast to the picture painted by the atheistic, evolutionary biology classes we attended in college. Granted, this is not to say that pair bonding was completely absent in early man, as it wasn’t. But the standard narrative of human sexuality is erroneous and degrading, for it posits that male-female interaction is largely based on an exchange of sex for goods and services. We are not apes, men are not from Mars and women are not from Venus, and we are not biologically designed to confuse, manipulate, or psychologically torment one another. We are spiritual souls of which the human body constitutes only a fraction. Doesn’t it make more sense for us all to just get along? Instead of trapping ourselves within dualistic prisons of good and bad, or right and wrong, what if we freed ourselves from the silly perimeters of the ego and smoothly slid back into our true, heart-centered state in which we let unconditional (unconditional meaning without condition folks) love flow from, to, and through us? What if we put down our weapons and our fists, shut our mouths, closed our eyes, and opened our hearts to the greater reality that exists beyond the dividing, dehumanizing, debasing, and fear-inducing matrix that is itself, manmade? What would the human then perceive? What would the human then consist of? The human would perceive and consist of its essence – love and light. Imagine such a recasting. We are living in an unprecedented time, and right now we are serving as both descendants and forerunners. Vincit omnia veritas proclaim the illumined. The arms of Aquarius are open wide now, let us set our course for home. In conclusion, nirvana or moksha is not sought, it is realized. The human being is already complete, already whole – therefore enlightenment is allowed rather than achieved. The universe is not a work in progress, it is ever expanding perfection. We are eternal entities, so there is no true death, only a perpetual adding to all that we are. This life then, and all of our existence, is a flower that unendingly blossoms. The light waves which constitute the third dimension are always in motion, always in flux. As such, there is always an ongoing dynamism, a continual changing with the inbreath and outbreath of the cosmos. As Alan Watts has spoken to, if we imagine we are being carried along by a stream of water, then we feel as though we are one with the stream – we flow as the stream flows. But if we effort against the stream, we separate ourselves from it, and in doing so, we lose the power of the stream. If the stream represents our creative essence, then we create most effortlessly when we are in a state of oneness, in a place of love. Yet when we separate ourselves from God and the universe through fear, hate, and inharmony, we erect enormous resistance to the flow of our creative essence and we allow the mind to restrict the expression of our divinity. Let yourself be carried by the stream of your divinity, your God-hood, and there will be no place where you cannot be taken. Amun-Ra, Amen. References:
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AuthorDenton Coleman is an Exercise Physiologist and Medical Researcher. Archives
October 2023
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